When I came home from Iraq I had grand plans and big dreams. But once you're injured or hurt life plays cruel tricks on you. Only this is not a trick. It is for real. There was a time in my life when I touched the lives of so many. I felt engaged, in love with life, and certainly in control of my future.
I had a small set back, when I once heard that that I had sacrificed my family for the students I taught. That comment bruised my heart and I pulled away from what I knew I was meant to do do - teach. I went another direction.
I tried to give back, to give myself to my nation. I was disillusioned when I discovered that my nation was micromanaged by small sectors of people who thought they were the only one who mattered. They used you (me) as a stepping stone for thier recognition, and you were used until you were no longer needed or could no longer contribute.
Once I realized that I was useless in my effort to contribute to my nation, I was lost.
Now what?
No one knows unless they've been there - you are alone. If you can dig deep and survive you have a chance to make it back. But back to what? Everyting you knew has changed, lives are different, And above all of this I miss a good laugh.
I miss:
1. I miss being independent.
2. I miss being able to do what I want when I wnat.
3. I miss being superficial.
4. I miss being materialistic.
5. I miss girlfriends who are not ashamed to sit around and bash other people's shortcomings.
6. I miss laughing my ass off because I shopped until I didn't have enough money to even make a phone call.
7. I miss the smell of a coach store.
8. I miss the smell of a man who just got laid - by me.
9. I miss laying in bed and acting stupid with my lover,
10. I miss flirting with everyman in the bar.
11. I miss the feel of a fantastic kiss.
12. I miss the feel of a man's arm around me just because he wanted to hold me tight.
13. I miss talking shit about the stupid people I work with, with the stupid people I work with.
14. I miss cussing out stupid drivers.
15. I miss wearing an outfit that coast $3,000 and it's just jeans, shoes and a purse.
16. I miss having a man who likes that I can cuddle with him for hours then not see him for weeks.
17. I miss karaoke, - in Iraq.
18. I miss Karaoke in Japan.
19. I miss the hunt.
20. I miss the emails that thanked me for a great night.
21. I miss partying with Joe, Chris and Cameron.
22. I miss knowing more than my kids.
23. I miss having money.
24. I miss being 36.
25. I miss my condo, my car, and my closet.
Sara Minks 2009
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