When I was medevaced to Landsthul Germany, many things ran through my head. While I was in the Wounded Warrior Transition Battalion I felt so depressed. At one point here is an excerpt from my journal:
The time has come to acknowledge my pain. I am ready to stop coping and start living. I have been coping since Feb 27, 2009. I am afraid to allow myself to feel. It is easier to stuff everything than it is to acknowledge it. I have lost myself.
I am angry, hostile and sad. I have no energy, no desires and am having a difficult time deciding what I am going to do next. I push myself to the edge. I cannot sleep, I cannot exercise, I cannot visit with friends. I am secluding myself behind closed doors.
I feel like I don’t know what is real. I am not ready for this. I do not have the time to deal with this.
This was a very dark time for me.
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